{"id":3243,"date":"2020-01-06T05:56:23","date_gmt":"2020-01-06T04:56:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aaanandha.com\/?p=3243"},"modified":"2020-01-07T09:52:05","modified_gmt":"2020-01-07T08:52:05","slug":"resolutions-that-feel-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aaanandha.com\/en\/relaxation-peace-and-wellness\/resolutions-that-feel-good","title":{"rendered":"Resolutions That Feel Good"},"content":{"rendered":"
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How to Make New Year\u2019s Resolutions That Feel Good<\/h1><\/h3><\/span>
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Christine Carter offers three steps to success in keeping your New Year\u2019s resolutions.<\/h5>\n<\/div>
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You want to lose weight. Learn to meditate. Get out of debt. Eat more leafy greens. Call your mom more often.<\/p>\n

But you\u2019re afraid to really try, because of all the times you\u2019ve tried before and failed. I meet plenty of people who refuse to make New Year\u2019s resolutions for this reason: New Year\u2019s resolutions can be a source of failure, year after year.<\/p>\n

Research<\/a> suggests that 88 percent of people have failed to stick to their resolutions to change. Frankly, that number seems low to me. Hasn\u2019t everyone<\/em> failed to keep a resolution before? My guess is that the only people who haven\u2019t failed at a New Year\u2019s resolution haven\u2019t tried.<\/p>\n

We fail to change our habits because our human brains crave routine and resist change<\/b>. But it\u2019s very discouraging to try to do things differently, only to find ourselves falling back into old patterns.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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Having failed in the past is stressful<\/strong>\u2014and it\u2019s even more stressful when we opt for self-flagellation in the face of our setbacks or lapses. We think that if we\u2019re really hard on ourselves, we\u2019ll be less likely to make the same mistake again, or that we\u2019ll motivate ourselves towards better performance in the future. Admitting our failings does not need to come with commensurate self-criticism, however.<\/p>\n

Why? Because self-criticism doesn\u2019t work. It doesn\u2019t actually motivate us. Instead, self-criticism is associated with reduced motivation and diminished future improvement.<\/p>\n

Self-compassion<\/a>\u2014being warm and supportive towards ourselves, and actively soothing ourselves\u2014does help when we fall short of our intentions or our goals. It leads to less anxiety, less depression, and greater peace of mind. Most importantly, it makes us feel more motivated to make the improvements we need. Here are three steps to achieve your resolutions for change.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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1. Forgive yourself<\/h2>\n

The first step to making lasting change is to forgive yourself for having failed in the past. It\u2019s okay; it\u2019s normal, even. You did the best you could with the skills you had. Take a deep breath and soothe yourself like you might a good friend<\/a>: Use kind, reassuring words to ease yourself out of a stress response. Remind yourself that few people are successful the first time they try to change their routines. Explain to your good-friend-self that feeling bad about your behavior will not increase your future success.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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2. Aim for an inherently rewarding target<\/h2>\n

Why do we so often fail at our attempts to change?

One reason is that we tend to set goals and pick resolutions that are inherently un<\/em>rewarding. The goals we pick necessitate relentless hard work, or remind us of our mortality in a way that makes us feel small instead of grateful.<\/p>\n

The second step, therefore, is to set the right resolution, whether that\u2019s a big audacious goal, a new habit you\u2019d like to get into, or a bad habit you\u2019d like to break.<\/p>\n

To begin, let\u2019s start with your desired outcome. It\u2019s okay to be a little vague here; we\u2019ll get more specific as we proceed. For example, you might want to:<\/p>\n